random little mysteries

i learned this all from a 19 year old girl who said hey, i could love you better than that. if you didn’t put so much stock in everyone around you and expect them to take up the slack.

 

i said you know i appreciate the honesty but right now i just can’t handle facing up to the facts. so why don’t you leave a message after the tone and since i’m never home chances are i won’t call you back.

 

it was so much easier way back when the good guys wore white and had the feather [of a dove on the rim of]in their hat. cause lately, the lines have dimmed and you’re wearing something kinda thin and in the end it seems, i’m always wearing black.

 

what creatures of cold desire we must be. we ache for longing, you see. we don’t even want to be fulfilled. like all the things you swear to God that you won’t forget. knowing full well you will.

 

well there you are. and here i am. we’ve done this before, we’ll do it again

 

you seem a little trapped tonight beneath?.. what is it? desire or is it doubt?

like a moth who accidentally flew into a light fixture, and spends the rest of its life just trying to find a way out.

 

so what is it you’re looking for, that you’ve found but you can’t hang on to it. is it each time you find a door. you find the strength but not the courage now to open it. but i think that you will someday. trade that gown of white for this cloak of black, you’ll put so much stock in everyone around you that you’ll have no choice but to turn away and to never look back.

​

and when that happens don’t think of what you left behind. don’t think of how much it hurts and how you wish to God it could be. just think about how it never mattered much to you. and it’s better this way.  and i’ll lie to myself and say it doesn’t matter to me... and i’ll say it was just one of those things one of life’s random little mysteries.

​

one of those things that we’ll talk about when we’re older when we’ve almost convinced ourselves it was an impossibility.. that it was never meant to be. 

 

and how is it that memory pulls from the corners of each archived & individual regret. that it takes only a minute to remember your smile and then i get another lifetime now of trying to forget?

 

well there you are. well here i am. and where you stopped. i began.

 

but man, it’s 3 a.m. in the morning.and you’re watching p.b.s. and talking to yourself. and that girl that keeps running through your head is tucked in her bed, probably dreaming fondly of someone else.

 

so there you are. and here i am. 

we do what we do it’s all that we can. it's all that we can.

​

words music by robb

4.12.01 after kelts, so tired.

going off to bed. love, robb

this song is about walking away from love. 

it’s about missing it twice in your life.